


Honey, I'm home

by mrshopkirk



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Dreams and Nightmares, Fear, Friendship, Gay, Gay Bucky Barnes, Gay Male Character, Gay Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, Hydra, Implied/Referenced Torture, Love, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Swearing, True Love, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, bucky is hurt, bucky loves steve, cryo, everybody should protect bucky really, stucky freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 03:41:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12160812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrshopkirk/pseuds/mrshopkirk
Summary: I turn the knob on the door and it squeaks. I take a deep breath and there he is, in all his beautiful sweetness, my safe haven, standing in the hallway. He smiles and I reach out my hand but like always he’s being a tease and moves just out of my reach. Cheeky little devil always warms my heart and I say what I always say.“Honey, I’m home.”***Bucky hates his job. The only thing that matters is going home to Steve at the end of the day and get some rest before starting all over again. But how much of what Steve gives him is real?





	Honey, I'm home

**Author's Note:**

> First posted on Tumblr.

I sigh heavily and drag my feet. Why don’t I just quit this vile job? But I damn well know why. Steve. I’m so fucking afraid to lose Steve. I can’t lose him. I need to go home to him before my blood runs cold so I can live another day. Thank god, I can see our porch already. It’s a measly cramped little place, grey and dull, but it’s where he is. I’d spend my time in a fucking freezer if it means I get to be with Steve. I turn the knob on the door and it squeaks. I take a deep breath and there he is, in all his beautiful sweetness, my safe haven, standing in the hallway. He smiles and I reach out my hand but like always he’s being a tease and moves just out of my reach. Cheeky little devil always warms my heart and I say what I always say.

“Honey, I’m home.”

 Another day, another dollar. The hours tick by so slowly. If I didn’t know better I’d think this day lasts a week. I long for Steve and our home. I’m tired. I hate this work. I hardly understand what I have to do and what I do understand I don’t like doing. It seems an endless task, always the same and nothing changes in the end. There are always new sites to be visited, new people whose name I don’t even remember. Some are assholes. Some are really nice. Some are too young, younger than they told me they would be. Anyway, the bosses know what they’re doing, I guess. I’ll just complete my job and they’ll stay off my back. It’s better if I don’t think about it and don’t ask questions. The bosses hate questions and their responses always make my head hurt so much that I don’t even remember what the fuck I asked in the first place. It’s easier to just do what I’m ordered to do and at the end of the day I can go home to Steve. He makes me smile. He keeps me warm. God, I’m so tired. I wonder how my heart can race so fast one moment and just stop altogether when I see Steve. Thank god, there he is. Just those few little words and I can rest. My heart can stop and I can sleep next to him.

“Honey, I’m home.”

Fuck this job. I feel like I haven’t been home in ages. Why does this day stretch so long? I want to go home. I’m exhausted. I drag my feet to the next task. Another client? They’ve got to be kidding me. It’s been ages since I last saw Steve. He wasn’t home last time. I’m worried. I’ll have to ask where he was. I was fucking freezing without him home. I go insane without him. Everything feels off. I can’t sleep. I can’t rest. It feels like ants crawl under my ice cold skin. I want to punch everything and everyone, which is not a good way to start a working day. Obviously my bosses don’t like getting punched. I need Steve. Fuck, I need him. Please, let him be home tonight. I feel restless and unfocused and I know I fucked up my job today. This fucking debriefing is making my head about to explode. I can’t even tell Steve what I did today, can’t even remember, but who cares? I’m about to go home. A relieved breath escapes my when I see him waiting in the hallway. My voice is raw but I can’t break tradition because I live for Steve’s smile when he hears those few words.

“Honey, I’m home.”

When did this blizzard even start? Steve. I have to hurry. There’s our house. Just a little further. My feet seem to come to a halt. Steve’s right there. I can feel him. I’m so cold. It’s like my eyes are freezing shut. I can’t find my way. I reach out my hand but feel the window instead of the doorknob. The glass freezes. I’m not going to make it inside. Fuck.

My bones hurt so much. I wish my bosses would leave me alone. I want Steve. I want to stay home. No, go home. I didn’t make it home last night. Was it last night? I forgot. No wonder with the hours they make me do. I can hardly remember my own name.

Don’t touch me! I yank away my arm. Who the fuck are you? I smack the man to the wall on my left and hear a crackling sound. Some of the bosses come running over. Fuck. I’m in trouble but I’m too riled up to care. Every nerve is on edge. Come and get me, fuckers. I push some guy I have never seen aside. What do they mean that I wasn’t in _that_ place yet? You’re damn right I wasn’t in that place. My place is with Steve and I wasn’t there. I haven’t seen him. I know I can’t win this fight. I should keep my head low but sometimes it’s just too much and I have to throw some punches. Goddammit, I hate it when they don’t use sentences but just words. It makes me scream in anguish. I’m breathing hard but it feels like my lungs didn’t have air in them for some time. They hurt. I feel sluggish. Fuck this job. Fuck them all.

I all but crawl after this shitty day but I can see our house. I’ll be home soon. My work is done. Another landscape shaped as they say. As soon as the door closes behind me, I see him. Can you turn the heating up, Stevie? I’m cold. His big strong arms engulf me, warming me to the core and I whisper what we both need to hear.

“Honey, I’m home.”

I reluctantly open my eyes. Fuck, another day of work. I haven’t slept nearly as long as I wanted and groan but it’s okay. My batteries are recharged because Steve is around. I kiss him goodbye but our lips barely touch and leave mine cold and wanting.

“Will you be here when I get back?”

Steve shrugs his shoulders, smiling. He’s right. I never know until I get back. Somehow it doesn’t matter because even if he’s missing I’ll still wait for him, because I love him, because we’re together till the end of the line.

“See you later, honey.” And off to work I go. The day goes by fast. The new colleague is a fast learner. I feel battered and bruised though. Thank god Steve is home. I take a step towards him but he cocks his head with a lopsided grin on his face. It takes me a little while to realize what’s missing from this perfect pretty picture and then it hits me, I haven’t told him yet. I try to smile but my lips feel like they’re turning blue. The words escape my mouth with a puff of cold air.

“Honey, I’m home.”

My clothes are thick with grime and blood is oozing from a gash on my chest. I feel dirt coming out of every pore and taste ash in my mouth. Why don’t they fix these showers at work? Always that fucking cold water. When Steve used to patch me up it was with the soft touches and patience of an angel but this shitty doctor has the hands of the devil himself when he stitches me up like it’s the last thing he wants to do right now. I’m still a fucking person, I think while someone roughly shoves me, making me land on my knees on the cold concrete street leading in the direction of our house.

“Honey, I’m home.”

Oh, thank god, you’re home. Hold me. Don’t ever let go, okay? I’m going insane without you. I don’t know left from right. I lose track of time. Your smile makes me feel warm. Hold me, will you? I just want to feel your arms wrapped around me. I love the way you smile at me. I love the way you touch my skin when I close my eyes, like little drops of dew. Come closer. You feel so far away, honey. Don’t be so shy. Come lay with me. I need you close because everything feels so cold. I should check the heating tomorrow though I don’t think I’ll ever find the heart to leave a bed you’re in.

This is the longest I’ve spent with Steve in… I don’t know really, but a really long time anyway. I’m ready to take on the world. I’ll do my best at work. Maybe they’ll let me go some day. I sigh and shuffle to work. It’s probably wishful thinking but I have to keep hoping for Steve, for our future. God, I long for that domestic bliss. Stevie’s always cooking dinner and doing all the work in the house. Maybe I could do that. Take some of the burden of him. I can’t help but smile. Fuck. What the fuck was that? Did the boss just slap me for smiling? Fucking bastard. Just wait till I get my hands on you. I lash out but my arms don’t move. I need to tell Steve about the furniture at work. They fucking suck. The chairs are cold and ugly and they hurt. Come to think of it, I’m the only one with this dreadful type of chair. Why the hell does it always hurt so much to think? My brain is on fire.

“What are we waiting for, Doctor? The asset has been wiped,” the soldier asks.

“Just wait a second.” The doctor juts out his chin towards the computer screen that’s connected to several painful looking devices attached to the asset’s head. He suddenly leans forward. “See, there it is.”

“What’s that?”

“I don’t know but I know that if we wait till his brains do that ‘thing’ you see here on the screen, he’s easier to handle next time they give him a mission. It’s like his own little space or something.” He sits back in his chair looking at the screen before he starts unhooking the machine.

“Aren’t we supposed to report that, doctor?”

The doctor shrugs his shoulders. “Why bother? There is nothing in there.” He taps the asset's head before he waves over the guards. “Let’s get him into cryo.” The guards drag the asset from the chair and towards the cryo chamber.

Bucky walks on the path leading to their front door while a smile makes its way on his face. Good thing he’s home before the blizzard, before the ice frosts the glass of their windows, before the cold seeps into his bones. He turns the knob and sees Steve in the hallway, a warm smile greeting him. Bucky happily smiles too.

“Honey, I’m home.”


End file.
